Trust
by Cut Throat Sweetheart
Summary: Maura had always been afraid to trust.


Maura Isles spent most of her young life scared.

It wasn't all flesh-eating bacteria and people. Her calculating young mind knew the chances of contracting _Chromobacterium_ was astronomical (it rarely infected humans) and for all the people in her life she had to deal with, she could handle the socially acceptable hello's and how are you's and even carrying on a conversation for a few minutes before breaking into her encyclopedia talk.

But little Maura was afraid of one thing beyond anything else.

Trust.

As an uncoordinated six year old ballerina, Maura had beamed at the idea of her mother and father attending her big recital. They said they wouldn't miss it for the world. Strangely enough, they didn't have the world in their hands when she came back that night in her classmate's mom's car. She remembered them explaining something about a business dinner that they absolutely had to be present for, but she hadn't listened. She simply scampered upstairs without saying a word, and through the mesh pink tutu in the back of the closet.

As a sixteen year old college student with a neatly tied light brown braid, Maura had attempted valiantly to forage a friendship with her roommate, an eighteen year old socialite whose parents must have paid her way into BCU. Maura tried desperately to find common ground between herself and the peppy blonde who seemed to major in partying, but in return all she got was attacks on her "uptight" attitude when she declined the chance to date one of Jenna's boyfriend's frat brothers. Still, Maura thought she could trust Jenna. But after one of her roommate's dorm parties got out of control and Jenna just laughed and clapped when one boy wouldn't leave Maura alone, the future doctor moved out the next day.

By the time Maura reached the Boston Police Department, she hadn't lost any of her childish charm, but the walls were up and solid. No matter how many people she worked with, it was just that—work. No one had anything outright bad to say about their medical examiner, but her coldness towards personal relationships did not go unnoticed and "Queen of the Dead" just seemed to roll off everyone's tongues after a while. Maura knew, but she didn't care. She just wanted to do her job, speak for the dead, serve her purpose in the world like a good girl.

So when Jane Rizzoli smacked one of her colleagues in the back of the head after using the nickname, it genuinely surprised her, and even amused her. She had interacted with Jane plenty by that point, for sure, but being stood up for was a new and interesting feeling. It wasn't long before she and Jane fell into her first real friendship.

But it wasn't always perfect.

"You didn't trust me enough to protect you," Jane accused, her voice laced with hurt and betrayal. "And you didn't protect me."

Those two statements continued to ring in Maura's head long after Jane and Frost had left. How was she supposed to respond? She'd tried the trust thing before, and it never worked out; just left her with a broken heart, damaged pride, and a bitter taste in her mouth. But she wanted to trust Jane, she really did.

What made Jane different? Her whole damn family different? Maura bet Angela would have shown up to her Swan Lake rendition. She bet if some horny college guy started coming onto her, Frankie and Tommy would've taken him out back and taught him a lesson. And as for Jane…Maura had already heard for herself that the detective would do anything for her.

Over grilled cheese and rancid wine later that night, Maura needed to fix things. She started with the simple reassurance; "I like Tommy, a lot, but I _love_ you." And she hoped Jane knew she meant that with all her heart. The smile on the brunette's face and the ease with which they fell back into their banter assuaged Maura's concerns remarkably.

"Jane?" she said cautiously after a few minutes.

"Hmm?" Jane replied, trying to keep her mouthful of grilled cheese _inside_ her mouth.

"I want to trust you. I...I do trust you."

Jane nodded and looked into Maura's eyes with honest conviction. "I appreciate that." She paused. "You can _always _trust me, you know that right?"

Maura believed her. "I do."

She didn't feel scared anymore.


End file.
